How to Get Stuff Done with ADHD - Part 2: Don't Quit in the Middle

If you have ADHD, you've probably searched "how to get stuff done" more times than you can count.

And the vast majority of resources that pop up when you search for that are about how to start a task, which is super helpful because heaven knows we struggle to start tasks, but there are basically no resources telling you what to do when you get to the horrible middle part of the task.

I'm talking, it's 2:00 a.m. and you've been cleaning out your closet for the past four hours. Your room looks like a tornado hit it, and you are exhausted, and you have no clue how you're going to finish this.

It is so tempting at this point to just give up. Just take all the clothes, throw 'em in the closet, shut the door, and just never open that door again.

But we deserve a clean closet. We deserve for our efforts to get halfway to a clean closet, to be meaningful, to get us to the end result.

But to get to the end, we've got to survive the middle, and I want to show you how to do it.

So you've started your task.

You have successfully done that.

Celebrate that.

But from there, what do you do next?

I have a three-step formula that actually helps with the messy middle part of pretty much any task. And the first step is to take a break.

I know there are so many of you reading this saying:

No, I can't take a break. If I take a break, I will never come back to it. I have proof of half started tasks all around my house when I got overwhelmed, took a break, and it's been months since I started that and I still haven't come back to it.

I'm telling you this time is going to be different, okay?

Trust me, give your brain a break and step away from the overwhelming task.

Here's why this time's going to be different: You are not avoiding the task. You are simply taking a break from the task. And this is a really big thing mentally, because if we're avoiding the task, yeah, we're probably not going to come back to it. But if we tell ourselves, nah, I'm just taking a well-deserved break, we are more likely to actually come back.

The other reason why this time's going to be different is you're not going to set any kind of timer or time limit for your break.

Now, I know this might be super counterintuitive.

You might be saying:

No, if I don't set a timer, I'll never stop taking a break. I'll never come back to it.

But I think the opposite is actually true for most ADHDers because let's be honest -- think about times that you have tried setting a timer. How well did that work out for you? If you're anything like me, it probably didn't work out that great because as ADHDers, we struggle with time.

You might say, but Megan, at least the timer gives me a frame of reference for how much I'm failing by. Like, I went 20 minutes past my timer, half an hour past my timer, three hours past my timer.

To which I say, why is that helpful? Why is it helpful to define your failure? Wouldn't it be more productive to just say, "I'm going to take as long of a break as I need in order to come back to this refreshed."

Wouldn't that remove some of the shame element from this and therefore remove a barrier?

This is what I recommend: take a stim break. I want you to play with some Play-Doh, twirl your hair, dance, sing, whatever kind of stims are best for you. Take a break to express yourself.

So often the tasks that we get stuck in the middle of are not very expressive or fun. They're usually really boring or difficult. So taking a minute to just express yourself and be yourself and do something a little creative can feel really good for us.

I also want you to take care of your body's needs.

Go drink some water.

Use the restroom.

Have a snack if you haven't eaten in a while.

A lot of times our trouble with the middle isn't that we're getting bored or distracted or lazy or anything like that. Our problem is actually that we were so focused that that level of focus is just unsustainable for the amount of time it takes to complete the project.

Again, ADHD is not a deficit of attention. It is a difficulty regulating attention. So when we get super into it, then we want nothing to do with it. It's on or off, yes or no, with a lot of us. So don't let your intense focus mean that you're neglecting your body.

Go take care of yourself. And when you come back to the task, you might feel way more equipped to do it because your body feels well taken care of now.

This leads me to step two in my three-step process.

You might be thinking: But planning is one of those executive functions that ADHDers tend to struggle with, so how am I supposed to make a plan when I'm already overwhelmed?

Well, this is why step one is so important.

If you take a break that actually feels fulfilling, you can come back to the task not feeling overwhelmed, which will make it easier for you to actually make a plan.

So in order to make that plan, the first thing you're going to want to do is determine what the task would look like when it is done. So, what does done look like? What are you aiming for?

This is a problem a lot of ADHDers have because we tend to have nearsightedness when it comes to time and projects.

We see what's happening immediately, but we have a really hard time seeing what's happening in that murky future area. So you just need to put on some glasses and start to see, okay, this is what it will look like when I am done. I can picture the task being completed.

Once you know where you're going, you can work backwards to make a plan to get you there.

So let's go back to the cleaning out the closet example, right?

So you've got clothes everywhere, your closet's empty, and you can't even picture what done would look like.

The next thing I want you to do is just close your eyes for a minute and I want you to picture your closet organized in a way that works for your brain. You can find your favorite clothes super easily, and you're so glad you put the time and effort into this task. Go ahead and open your eyes.

That is the goal you're working on.

So from there, let's work backwards.

Let's say you want your closet organized by color because that's aesthetically pleasing to you, and if it's aesthetically pleasing, you'll actually stick to the organizational system. So all the piles in your room right now, start organizing them by color.

Then once you've got everything organized by color, start going through the clothes. Do you have some stuff that's just too similar to each other? Do you have stuff you never wear, stuff that's stained, stuff that you just don't need anymore?

Take all the clothes you want to get rid of and throw 'em all in a pile and get them out of your room. Donating clothes, selling clothes, all of that stuff. Those are different tasks from organizing your closet, and they should be treated as their own separate tasks. So don't even worry about doing that at this point in time. What you need to get done is the closet.

Basically, making a plan is going to help you keep your eye on the prize.

This is not really the third step time-wise, but rather something you want to integrate through the rest of these steps, and that is to externalize your motivation.

Let's face it, when you have ADHD, your internal sense of motivation is unreliable at best.

So we need to find external things that we can use to hold ourselves accountable and make us want to keep going.

For me, one of the things that's worked really well is visual timers.

But Megan, you told us earlier not to use timers. What's up with that?

To which I say, yes, I don't like the use of timers in order to shame yourself for failing at taking a short enough break, whatever that looks like. But I do think timers can be really helpful for helping us see the passage of time, especially visual timers where you move the little dial and there's a little bit of color that appears and that color disappears as time passes.

We tend to overestimate how long boring tasks are going to take us because they're so mentally painful for us to do. And part of that mental pain is assuming it's going to take so long. So if we use a visual timer, set it for 20 minutes and see what we can get done, and all of a sudden we realize you're done and it's only been 15 minutes. That feels really good and can make difficult tasks way easier.

I also super recommend body doubling, so call your sister, get on Zoom with your best friend, or just see if your partner can sit in the room with you while you do the thing.

My next tip for externalizing motivation is actually very clever, I think, and that is focus through being distracted.

Sometimes distraction actually makes us more focused the way that we tend to doodle in class or fidget while we're listening. We need enough stimulation in order to actually pay attention. Maybe cleaning out the closet is just too freaking boring. Maybe you need a snack or something that smells good. Maybe you need YouTube playing in the background. Maybe you need to have someone there to have a conversation with.

And finally, the opposite could also be true, especially if you are an auDHD, meaning that you're both autistic and ADHD. There might be too much stimulation going on and you just need a little bit of everything turned down a couple notches. This is where I recommend noise canceling headphones, dimming the lights, turn off the big light and turn on a couple lamps, something like that to just bring the stimulation down a bit.

Thank you so much for reading, or if blog posts aren't your thing, but you still want to learn more, check out the YouTube version of this post by clicking the video below: